New Beginnings

February is setting off in an interesting direction this year. Yesterday I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. I’m 46 and have had my suspicions for a long time that I am on the Autistic Spectrum so it was good to have a definitive answer. I have a sense that this will change my life profoundly whilst also leaving it fundamentally the same. I will still be the same quirky, eccentric person who loves books and finds socialising a challenge so what will be different? Part of the reason I am starting this blog is to have a space to explore how the answers to this question will reveal themselves. Firstly, let me explain to you the process that led to me writing these words today.

My second daughter C is a wonderful example of an Aspie girl. She is bright and creative, questions the world in ways that feel refreshing and yet blatantly obvious and experiences everything acutely. This can mean that sometimes life is anxiety provoking and puzzling for her but we find ways to navigate these challenges most of the time. I had a tough time getting a diagnosis for her, she complied with what was asked of her at school and didn’t cause any problems so her teachers didn’t see the problems that brought her home sobbing day after day. It took years of being fobbed off, having her referred to inappropriate groups and therapists and being seen as ‘that parent’ at her school before we found a therapist  who recognised her ASD traits and encouraged the paediatrician to confirm what I already knew. Since I have been able to explain her differences to her in terms of ASD she has grown in confidence and self-assurance in a way that makes my heart swell with pride.

Being an advocate for my daughter forced me to become more skilled at articulating her Aspie characteristics and as I did so I couldn’t help but notice how familiar they were to me. This ignited my interest and, as I have done many times when I’m trying to work something out, I turned to books and research articles to inform myself. Gradually I began to piece together the differences in gender presentation of Autistic Spectrum Disorders. Women and girls have been poorly served by the professionals in this field until very recent times when finally it is being recognised that the female picture of ASD can look very different to that of males. The turning point came for me when I came across the work of a psychologist who specialises in the female presentation of autism. Her description of the characteristics and traits of women with Asperger Syndrome was such a revelation to me; finally someone was describing my experience of life. I emailed her office in May 2014 to ask for more information about booking an assessment and put in an order for books to help me make a decision of what to do next. I ended up waiting six months before requesting an assessment but that time was well spent.

My next post will describe how I moved from contemplation to action and found myself a newly born Aspie! Please come back to find out more…